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Hey y'all!
My name is Sarah and I’m a larger than life, completely over the top southern mama! You’re reading my words today though because we probably share a hurt that can’t be truly recognized unless you’ve stomped in it’s filthy trenches.
My heart is a survivor of loss. Two losses to be exact. Twice my heart was ripped from my chest and my breath just couldn’t catch. Twice I asked why and beat myself up and blamed my body and even my past sins. But through the hurt and loss and pain my story was so beautifully redeemed and victory woven again into its threads. Without question God carried my husband and I through; even in my pain induced doubt. Not only did Jesus so lovingly (and patiently, I mentioned I was southern right?) heal the hurt that loss and infertility left behind but He redeemed my story in the same way He wants to redeem yours!
My husband and I have been in full time ministry for almost 10 years now and that’s where our story began. After a quick three months of dating we were engaged and just six short months later we were married. Sometimes you just know! We were 20 when we got married and 22 when we decided to start trying for a baby. Young and married and infertile. I felt like it was a label I wore on my forehead. Every human we crossed paths with would ask when we were having a baby. And then it happened! A year in I finally got a positive test! We basically threw a party we were so excited! But just three short weeks later I would miscarry. Before we ever even got to tell our family. Talk about devastated. And then a few months later the same exact thing would happen AGAIN. Loss number two. Even harder to bare than the first. Two years of trying. Two miscarriages. Two broken hearts. And one huge question, would we EVER be able to have a family of our own?
BUT GOD. That January we felt the Lord leading us to fast and pray for our legacy, my womb, a precious little life for the first 21 days of the year. Half way through that 21 days we were eating at chipotle and this precious little lady kept staring my way. Two seconds from going to ask her if she needed me to butter her biscuit she approached us! With her Bible in her hand. And guess what she asked? “Are you pregnant?” To which my 105lb self shockingly replied “no ma’am”. And do you know what she said next? “YES YOU ARE! And it’s going to be a girl!” And then she just left. Like she didn’t just change my entire life! Cue incessant sobbing like a lunatic in the middle of the restaurant.
Sure enough one week later, the very morning our fast was over, I woke up at 4 AM and got a positive test. Could that crazy lady have been right?! And fast forward another 4 months I was still pregnant with a happy and healthy BABY GIRL! Okay, so maybe she wasn’t crazy! God intervened. He heard. He knew. He saw. And when the time was right He put His plan into motion. And now as a mama of three sweet littles, still serving in full time ministry with my husband, we fully lean back on the miracle He preformed in our lives to be reminded in those hard moments that He is always faithful!
Life is great, we are happy and fulfilled and whole. But some days... the only thing that brings me peace is that our sweet babies were born straight into the arms of Jesus!
Even though our story has been SO redeemed... it’s still easy for my mind to wonder. What our family would be like with the two sweet littles we lost. If they would have the same blonde bouncy curls or extreme level of sass. If their faces would be carbon copies of the other three or just maybe they would resemble me. If their eyes would be as blue as the sky like the other three or maybe they would look dreamy and green like their daddies.
But one day, I will know. Because when I find them they will be sitting on the lap of my savior. Healthy and whole and perfect. And still mine. But only having known His perfection. And that’s all the peace I can grasp onto some days. But the good news, that is all the hope I need. 💜💜💜
Sarah Veazey
Onalaska, TX
My name is Sarah and I’m a larger than life, completely over the top southern mama! You’re reading my words today though because we probably share a hurt that can’t be truly recognized unless you’ve stomped in it’s filthy trenches.
My heart is a survivor of loss. Two losses to be exact. Twice my heart was ripped from my chest and my breath just couldn’t catch. Twice I asked why and beat myself up and blamed my body and even my past sins. But through the hurt and loss and pain my story was so beautifully redeemed and victory woven again into its threads. Without question God carried my husband and i through; even in my pain induced doubt. Not only did Jesus so lovingly (and patiently, I mentioned I was southern right?) heal the hurt that loss and infertility left behind but He redeemed my story in the same way He wants to redeem yours!
My husband and I have been in full time ministry for almost 10 years now and that’s where our story began. After a quick three months of dating we were engaged and just six short months later we were married. Sometimes you just know! We were 20 when we got married and 22 when we decided to start trying for a baby. Young and married and infertile. I felt like it was a label I wore on my forehead. Every human we crossed paths with would ask when we were having a baby. And then it happened! A year in I finally got a positive test! We basically threw a party we were so excited! But just three short weeks later I would miscarry. Before we ever even got to tell our family. Talk about devastated. And then a few months later the same exact thing would happen AGAIN. Loss number two. Even harder to bare than the first. Two years of trying. Two miscarriages. Two broken hearts. And one huge question, would we EVER be able to have a family of our own?
BUT GOD. That January we felt the Lord leading us to fast and pray for our legacy, my womb, a precious little life for the first 21 days of the year. Half way through that 21 days we were eating at chipotle and this precious little lady kept staring my way. Two seconds from going to ask her if she needed me to butter her biscuit she approached us! With her Bible in her hand. And guess what she asked? “Are you pregnant?” To which my 105lb self shockingly replied “no ma’am”. And do you know what she said next? “YES YOU ARE! And it’s going to be a girl!” And then she just left. Like she didn’t just change my entire life! Cue incessant sobbing like a lunatic in the middle of the restaurant.
Sure enough one week later, the very morning our fast was over, I woke up at 4 AM and got a positive test. Could that crazy lady have been right?! And fast forward another 4 months I was still pregnant with a happy and healthy BABY GIRL! Okay, so maybe she wasn’t crazy! God intervened. He heard. He knew. He saw. And when the time was right He put His plan into motion. And now as a mama of three sweet littles, still serving in full time ministry with my husband, we fully lean back on the miracle He preformed in our lives to be reminded in those hard moments that He is always faithful!
Life is great, we are happy and fulfilled and whole. But some days... the only thing that brings me peace is that our sweet babies were born straight into the arms of Jesus!
Even though our story has been SO redeemed... it’s still easy for my mind to wonder. What our family would be like with the two sweet littles we lost. If they would have the same blonde bouncy curls or extreme level of sass. If their faces would be carbon copies of the other three or just maybe they would resemble me. If their eyes would be as blue as the sky like the other three or maybe they would look dreamy and green like their daddies.
But one day, I will know. Because when I find them they will be sitting on the lap of my savior. Healthy and whole and perfect. And still mine. But only having known His perfection. And that’s all the peace I can grasp onto some days. But the good news, it’s that all the hope I need. 💜💜💜
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